“Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.” ~ Jeremiah 29:21
My best friend has a saying: “I never learned anything from speaking.” The reality that this statement highlights is powerful: we typically learn by listening to others, and, of course, by reading what others have written. Yes, we do learn from speaking, in that it helps us to play with our ideas, to explore them, to look at multiple alternatives to find the truth. But by and large, we learn by listening — listening to other people: what they have to say and what they have to teach. We often miss that lesson in today’s Gospel reading, a favorite of many — the story of Jesus encountering two disciples on the road to Emmaus.
Here’s the context. Jesus has risen from the dead. The word is getting out. Two disciples — one of them is named Cleopas, the other is unnamed — meet Jesus on the road, but they do not recognize him. He asks them, “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” According to Thomas H. Groome, Professor of Theology and Religious Education at Boston College, this is one of the key aspects of the passage. Most of us would say, “Hold on a minute. We haven’t even gotten to the meat of this story yet. How can this be one of the most important parts of it?”
Groome developed a method for Christian education that can be used in any aspect of ministry, be it preaching, teaching, pastoral care, or mission work. It is called the Shared Praxis Approach. The language he uses is quite complex, but the concept is fairly easy to understand. At the core of the theory is that we meet people where they are. We engage them in their lives where they are at that moment when we encounter them. That is the first step. The second step is to connect people to the Gospel and then, in the third step, we show them how to connect the Gospel to their lives. Groome calls it bringing life to faith and faith to life. Jesus does all of this in today’s Gospel lesson. He begins by encountering people where they are.
Notice what he doesn’t do in this story. He doesn’t reveal himself right away. That would be enough, wouldn’t it? That would enable Cleopas and his companion to see the Risen One in their midst and to understand, from a firsthand perspective, that the story that they heard rang true: that the Messiah did rise from the dead putting to flight the schemes of the religious and political leaders who crucified him. They would see for themselves that everything came to pass just as Jesus predicted.
But he doesn’t do that. His identity is hidden from them. Instead, he takes the first page out of Thomas Groome’s book. He asks them about themselves. “What are you discussing with each other while you walk along?” He wants to know their story. He wants to know them. This would not be much different than if he asked them,
- How are you doing?
- Where are you from?
- What do you do?
- What are your joys?
- What are your fears?
- What keeps you up at night filled with worry?
- Tell me about
Jesus could have asked them any number of questions. By asking them, “Hey, what are you guys talking about?” he is letting them be heard. He wants to know their story.
There is a lesson here about evangelism, not unlike what Thomas Groome talks about, not unlike what D. Mark Davis writes about in his book Talking About Evangelism. Maybe the first step in bringing people to Christ is getting to know them. Who they are, where they’re from, what concerns they have. We need to meet people where they happen to be and show that we have a deep concern for them. This is, after all, how we learn about others. I never learned anything about anyone else by talking. I certainly did by listening.
We — meaning all people, not just you and me — we don’t listen enough. We speak to be heard and, when it appears as if we are listening, we are often listening for a pause so that we can jump in and speak. We hear each other. We hear each other all the time. Rarely do we listen. What’s the difference? According to Dr. Kristen Fuller (a medical doctor):
- Listening is an active process, whereas hearing is a passive process.
- Listening requires paying attention, whereas hearing requires no concentration or attention skills.
- Listening requires empathy, curiosity, and motivation, whereas hearing is associated with being disconnected.
- Listening is a skill that is necessary to have effective communication, whereas hearing is not a great communication skill.
- Listening is an internal behavior that involves both the mind and body, whereas hearing is a physical act that only involves the ears.[1]
Jesus listened to people. He cared about who they were and what they had to say because he genuinely loved them. He does the same for us. When we turn to God in prayer, we are not just talking to ourselves or offering empty petitions to the void. We are heard — truly heard by the One who loves us so much that he offered his life for us. If you ever wonder what Jesus would do, you should start by listening.
To love as Jesus loves means that we do not enter conversations with an agenda. We are witnesses for Christ, not salespersons. I, for one, am more open to someone who genuinely cares about me and how I feel as opposed to someone who seems to have jumped out of an infomercial and wants me to buy whatever they’re selling, even if it doesn’t come with a monetary cost. When you approach people with an agenda, they can smell it. When you truly listen to them because you care, they can feel it. There’s a difference. A big difference.
I never learned anything by speaking. I did by listening — listening to teachers, coaches, my parents, my wife, my kids, my friends, my neighbors, my colleagues, the people whose hands I held while they were dying, the people who have come to my office because they are struggling with addictions and broken relationships. The list is long. I have learned a lot in my fifty-five trips around the sun.
The most important thing that I have learned is that we are not all that different. We love and want to be loved. We want to feel secure and to be healthy. We want the best for those we love. We want life to be fair. We want life to have meaning, and, if we listen hard enough, we will find that it does. That meaning is found in the voice of the One who said, “Follow me,” who said, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”[2] Listen. Listen carefully, my friends. You will be heard. Amen.
[1] Kristen Fuller, MD, “The Difference Between Hearing and Listening,” from Psychology Today (online): July 8, 2021.
[2] Matthew 11:28-30.